in and out.

one man

2012-02-11T08:16:00.000+08:00

Pagi-pagi begini, marilah kita dengar lagu slow ballad.

I am currently addicted to this song. Ni semua penangan Running Man la ni. Kim Jong Kook dah la handsome. :D

But anyhow, this song it self is a very thoughtful and meaningful song. Nak nangis dengar lagu ni. Oh, ai kan hormon emo-emo ni memang overdose sikit.

spirit revival

2012-02-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

It's been so long since I updated my blog - minus yesterday's short post. I'm in long silence basically because I don't have anything to write plus along last week, I'd been catching up with the Running Man series. It's been the first time that I watched Korean variety show without stopping half-way like I used to do with the drama series. Before this, I am not Korea avid fan who follow every single drama or the K-Pop group that has been a phenomenon among Malaysians. But when my friends kept mentioning about the phrase "Running Man", I searched on YouTube and had been watching it to see why does this Running Man become so popular among my friends whom at the first place not a Korean lover just like me. It comes out that I myself then become so addicted to this variety show that I sleep at 3 o'clock in the morning everyday to watch the series from its 1st episode until the 80th episode. And I call myself crazy after that because I never do something like that. Staying up late just to finish up the whole series. But seriously, this variety show has such a quality. Worth awake.

Ok, done about Running man.

I am now in Semester 2. This semester, I've been taking 19.5 credit hours.

2 core courses - Phonetics and Phonology & Introduction to Drama,

2 human sciences subject - Introduction to Psychology & Introduction to Mass Communication

2 elective courses - Science of Quran & Science of Hadith

2 language courses - Bahasa Melayu Lanjutan & Tilawah Al-Quran II

1 co-curricular subject - Halaqah.

It seems to be packed but believe me I need those packed schedules to avoid laziness and procrastination virus attacking me again. Since my class mostly being held in the evening which I don't like it but to love it with no other choices, so no more hours of evening sleep like last semester. But, I have to find my time to go swimming. Huhu. Why la UIA tak buka swimming pool awal pagi. Haih.

I am going to nail this semester from head to toe! Insya-ALLAH. :)

Semester 2 schedule.

hijab and fashion

2012-02-08T20:57:00.000+08:00

Before I update more which is probably tomorrow, please watch this my dear sister. :)

rambling over

2012-01-31T01:08:00.001+08:00

I've just now received my Semester 1 examination result. Frankly speaking, I am totally frustrated with it. Arghh. It's always happened to me. Result atas angin/atas pagar. Bengang la jugak. During my MRSM's day, I nearly graduated with the first-class honours, but my CGPA had ruined it - 3.48. Another 0.02. This time is also the same, the difference is just the number but it's nearer of getting the DL. I am seriously don't mind if the number is far reachable to DL but this time I am too much frustrated.

Dear lingusitics carry mark, why you suddenly change the mark's proportion and took my other low mark. Even one mark does make a difference. :'(

And for the next semester I take 19.5 credit hour over the total of 21. Too much risk right? So, fuhhh.

Go away frustration. Allah knows the best for me. I need to work harder and most importantly SLEEP LESS.

new

2012-01-26T22:07:00.002+08:00

I'm thinking of changing my blog link to a new one. Hmmmm. We'll see how.

22 and married

2012-01-23T13:44:00.000+08:00

I love her phrase, "Kalau setakat nak kawan and main-main je, we're done with the business"
And what I think is when you're reaching the age of 20, you can't make fun of being friend with a guy, it's time to get serious.

pun!

2012-01-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

I'm not updating my blog simply because I have writer's block.

It's a PUN!

Ok, maybe some of you don't get the jokes and the meaning. What is pun anyway.

From Wikipedia - since I am too lazy to open my literature notes:

The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.

So, in the above example, the pun would be the words blog and block which they have two different meanings but share a similar pronunciation sound. It usually marks for jokes.

If you are wondering where do I learn this term, I have to thank my literature class where we have to learn all these figure of speeches or gaya bahasa if in Malay.

Since I've this writer's block, I'll end my post with food pictures - both of them are my favourite food ever. :D

This is gulai lemak ketam nanas. I'd been craving for this months since I found ketam at my hostel's cafe. Heaven!

And, this is sambal goreng jawa. This one is indescribable. Speechless because it is too delicious.

# Both were cooked by my mother. When it comes to these two delicacies, I shall surrender my pot and apron to thou.

Last pun,

When I cannot get my food, I can eat my own foot.

;)

HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYONE!

minding monday - hlovate's versus

2012-01-16T17:23:00.004+08:00

Having 2 papers on the same day for an examination is just tough. And it will make the exam tougher when both subjects need a serious reading and memorisation. As for me, being a visualised person, I cannot stand reading too many wordy and lengthy factual words in the text book since it's too late to do all those mind maps and I'm lazy too. :P So, what I would do was, I read novels. Hlovate's novel to be exact. I read her VERSUS novel which I did not know how many times I ulang baca this book.

But this time, I read with my heart and eyes. One thing for sure, if you read ANYTHING doesn't matter whether it is for your study and leisure reading, please read with passion and open your heart to accept the knowledge from your readings, insya-ALLAH, the knowledge will remain forever.

Ok, I'll share some excerpts from the book that I think it is so good.

1. 8. ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn ‘Amr al-Awzaa’ee, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked about eemaan: “Does it increase?” He replied, “Yes, until it becomes like mountains. He was then asked, ‘Does it decrease?’ He answered, ‘Yes, up until there is nothing left of it.'

9. The lmaam of the Ahl as-Sunnah Ahmad ibn Hanbal, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked as to whether eemaan increases and decreases. He replied: “It increases until it reaches the highest part of the seventh heaven, and it decreases until it reaches the lowest part of the seventh plane.” He also used to say: “Eemaan is speech and action. It increases and decreases. If you perform good deeds, it increases, and if you do wrong, it decreases.”

From Causes Behind the Increase and Decrease of Eemaan

Shaykh 'Abdur-Razzaak al-'Abbaad. Translated by Abu Safwan Farid ibn Abdulwahid Haibatan

2. Sun - you'll never reach perfection because there's always room for improvement. yet, along the way to perfection you'll learn to get better.

3. Minn Edina - Kalau cukup solat tapi tak pakai tudung, tak cukup baik lagi.

4. Jasmin - Dan pakai tudung tapi tak solat pun tak cukup baik lagi. Pakai tudung tapi pakai short sleeves nampak lengan pun kira tak cukup baik lagi. Pakai tudung tapi pakai baju ketat jarang berbayang, pun tak kira cukup baik lagi. Kena fikir balik. Denagn sekadar cukup pakai tudung, pakai baju lengan panjang tu dah dikira baik? Macam mana kalau baju tu form fitting dan selendang pulak jarang sampai nampak bayang batang leher, nampak anak rambut. Tak jadi la tu. Maknanya selagi tak embrace Islam tu sepenuhnya, tak cukup baik lagi la tu.

5. Minn Edina - It's not about buat baik dulu or pakai tudung dulu. It's about masuk ke dalam Islam secara total. Then THAT is 'baik'.

6. "Dalam hati setiap wanita yang bergelar Muslim itu sepatutnya memang tidak berbelah bahagi diserahkan kepada Dia. Tiada belah bahagi untuk mengatakan yang Dia adalah segalanya, lebih daripada yang lain. Pada Dia diletakkan ketakutan. Pada Dia diletakkan harapan. Pada Dia diletakkan kepercayaan. Pada Dia dipohon pertolongan. Pada Dia dipintakan kasih sayang. Hanya Dia."

7. “Verily he who has nothing of the Qur’an in his heart, is like a house (which has been) destroyed.” [At-Tirmidhi]

You should read the whole novel to really get the impact from what I have shared with you. This novel is ain't typical Malay novel. All Hlovate's novel are different. I can guarantee you that her novel are worthwhile your money to be made as a collection. and you too can see the transition of her; the changes. Personally, I think VERSUS is good for those who want to change for good. For those who have to struggle. This book is recommended.

Oh, here's the novel. :)

Let me leave you with a song that'd been introduced by this book. :) Let's ponder everybody!

makan-makan

2012-01-15T23:10:00.001+08:00

Oh, tadi kitorang saja buat makan-makan. Saja je lama tak jumpa. selalu tak cukup korum, hari tu Ellisal pergi holiday. So kali ni, diusahakan buat jugak, sadly, Mimi tak boleh join sebab dia tengah ada exam. Kitorang sebenarnya sambut birthday belated for Ili and Iilani and in advance for Nadya and Mimi. So, aku and Ellisal berilat la siapkan food semua. I bake the rainbow cake versi bantat, tak tahulah kenapa asyik salah whisk je and the famous lasagna. Ehhehe. We ate at the KLCC park. Rasa sangat gembira dengan suasana tadi. Entah. Memang rasa sangat tenang. Pergi masjid sama-sama. Sembahyang sama-sama. Nampak masing-masing semua dah besar and changed for good and better. Suka sangat. I always hope, this will remain forever.

And, satu benda lagi yang aku rasa sebak sangat tengok ialah bila tadi time sembahyang dekat Masjid As-Syakirin dekat KLCC, nampak la pakcik-pakcik cleaner yang sapu taman tu sembahyang. Rasanya most of them kot. rasa sebak sangat, sebab mereka tahu betapa perlunya bersyukur kepada ALLAH walaupun mereka hidup taklah semewah kita. Dahlah datang mencari rezeki dekat negara orang, tinggalkan keluarga semua. Ada seorang pakcik tu sangat khusyuk berdoa, rasanya kita pun tak mampu nak buat macam tu kan. Jarang sangat nampak orang kita dalam keadaan macam ni. Semoga ALLAH melimpahkan rezeki yang banyak buat pakcik-pakcik yang bersolat dan berdoa dengan khusyuk tadi. Kita pun ambil iktibar jugak. :)

Here are some of the pics:

The fugly decorated cakes

Tempting lasagna

Delicious Mihun Putih

Two bubbly girls. Taken already.

I love the colours.

Me as the makciks as always

Nak nangis woi duduk di samping orang kurus. T___T

Us :)

The gang

I am seriously in need of slimming down the body

The hot people.

We set the timer and the shutter just capturing the pics without stopping. I combined them to GIF.

Ehehhe. What a great day today. Full with love and blessings.

Mimi, you should join us next time. :)

Awak, happy birthday, the cupcakes are for you too ;)

cartoon strips

2012-01-15T21:29:00.001+08:00

While studying for my linguistics paper last week, I found out few cartoon strips in my text book that had attracted me to capture and share with you guys. As we flipped through the cartoon section inside the newspaper, we just giggled and with the jokes and never thought how do they relate with English language system. So, here there are, I'll share some of the cartoon strips that can make you ponder about. ;)

Oh yes, lying on the bed while studying is much more effective for me :D

#1: Morphology - the suffixes

#2: Brain and Language - aphasia

#3: Again, Morphology - the prefixes

#4: And again, Morphology - the what I cannot remember.

#5: Semantics- the idioms

#6: Again, Semantics - the I cannot recall back.

*nampak sangat tak belajo, baca cartoon je reti

#7: Pragmatics

#8: Phonology - dissimilation rules

#9: Language Processing - computational semantics

Funny much? I have a lot more cartoons in the text book.
Can you see the relation? ;P

wisdom teeth

2012-01-06T21:06:00.003+08:00

**UPDATES**

Anyone ever heard about wisdom teeth? Bahasa kita panggil gigi bongsu. I am currently suffered the pain from this wisdom tooth - my left lower teeth. Ini dah masuk hari ke 5 dah ni. Mak suruh pergi jumpa dentist, tapi aku takut karang tetiba dr. suruh buat gum incision and extraction. Tak nak. As long as I can bear the pain, I will not go to the dentist eventhough I love seeing dentist rather than medical doctor. But when it comes to surgical procedure, bye-bye doc. Takut la tengok dia punya jarum and syringe dia besar gabak tu. Dental punya syringe nak inject tu besar gila. Seram. Hari tu time kena cabut gigi untuk braces pun nasib baik tak terkencing je. Huahuahua. My friend said that the pain is bearable since I used to wear braces which the pain had caused me to eat only bubur and nasi lembik for 2 weeks. So rasanya, buat lepas final lah. Takut tiba-tiba kena demam after the minor surgery. Mati la, dah la nak last 2 papers tu paper berat2. Takpe, after final, boleh buat ade chance nak kurus. Sebab bila sakit, mesti susah nak makan. Kurang makan = kurang lah sikit berat. :P

THE UPDATES: I went to see the dentist this morning since the pain really suffocated me to open my mouth and swallow my food, and the dentist said that the teeth is yet to come, still in the gum and I just need to do the scaling. She gave me the antibiotics. Kena scaling pun, there goes RM 100.00. Modal nak beli skirt dah ilek. Alhamdulillah, it feels better now.

This is my condition

This is the syringe for the anesthetic. Mine was bigger than this.

emak,

2012-01-03T00:00:00.051+08:00

So many January babies I had in my mind. Starting with today, 3rd, then followed by 15th, eh?, 17th, 19th and 31st. They are so lucky!

Oh yes, this beautiful lady has turned to 47 today. And what else can I say. No words can describe her. If I list what has made her a super mother, the lists won't stop. Some say that I am her twin although both of us deny it all the way long. But indeed, it's true. I am her carbon copy in attitude and heart. Tapi yang buruk-buruk dekat saya tu not her of course, come from myself. :) We're such a different creature in everything. I am the most stubborn and hard-hearted child but yet I am the most pampered and childish daughter that she ever had. Ask her. Oh, and where does my cynicism and sarcasm come from? I learn a lot from her. Ehehe.

Mak,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

May ALLAH always bless you with good health and eternal happiness.

I always pray for you and wishing that all your dreams come true.

And I know the biggest dream that you ever wish to become true is to see me change for a real good like you always nagged at me. :D

Insya-ALLAH, I will. :')

date me!

2012-01-02T19:58:00.001+08:00

No, I am not that desperate though! ^^v

This is an essay by Rosemarie Urquico. I can't help it but to post it up eventhough this is my second post for the day. It is just so me! Ahahaha.

DATE A GIRL WHO READS

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

I can't deny it but to agree with the essay. Yes, date me! Joking! ;)

my ambition is not my reality

2012-01-02T13:22:00.002+08:00

This was written last night in my note book after my eyes didn’t want to cooperate with me when I told them to close. Oh yes, haywire grammar is everywhere.

I still vividly remembered, when I was 7 years old, we were asked by our class teacher, Puan Rossidah what were our ambition. Everybody told their answer and when it came to my turn, I confidently answered that I wanted to be a teacher. At that time, I was greatly affected by my mother. Kids at my age during that time would not know terms like a linguists, pharmacists or engineer or any jargon that suits the 1999’s era unless their parents were one of them. J What was on our mind at that time was either being a doctor (the most popular one!), policeman or a teacher. These were the jobs that commonly enlisted in the 001 card. Yes, the blue card where the last part of the card you were asked to list down 3 jobs that you’ll want to be in the future. Mine were teacher, policeman (I was so greatly influenced by the Gerak Khas drama series at that time. Heh!) and lawyer. And as far as I remembered, I never put doctor as my ambition since I guessed I was not that interested in saving other people’s life. Ahaha.

Growing up in the early 2000, you must be remembered when we the girls had this crazy on biodata book where we would save up our money and buy the thick log book – the exercise book size, and the colourful fluid gel pen and exchanged with each other to write down our personal biodata. Of course, in the ambition part, I would write down those 3 jobs without miss.

In my middle school, I put lawyer as my first choice as I didn’t have any interest more on becoming a teacher. At this stage, when I told my mother that I would love to become a lawyer, she started to show her disagreement with the job but not that strong. Ehehhe. I began to join debate both English and Malay to polish my skills and establish myself.

And then, the ambition was once again changed to become an orthodontist when I was in MRSM. Of course, people wouldn’t expect you as a science stream student to become a linguist. I lived within my new ambition for 2 years. I ate, slept, prayed, and played of becoming an orthodontist. I studied as hard as I can to go for my future job. I even put this dream on my class table by listing how many A’s should I get and further my study at the renowned RCSI Dublin. I worked that hard and live like a nerd to go for my dream.

But after I finished my SPM, doing nothing, I started to think and ask myself if this is what I want? I am seriously don’t like routine basis thing. I easily get bored of doing same thing over and over again. Everyday examining other’s teeth, which is so not me. If I continue with my orthodontist dream, I know I can push myself to the limits to make it a reality. But at the end of the day, is that a real satisfaction that I will get after 6 years of struggling?

After getting my SPM result, I applied the scholarship and instead of dentistry, I go for social science. Yes, everybody did question me. Even my teachers got frustrated with my decision. In this case, I feel very lucky to have my parents that never insisted me to go for their dream but my dream and do what I like. My father really wanted to see me to become a dentist and he kept ‘pujuk-ing’ me to apply for that course. But my mother opposed it. Haha. She didn’t want me to get through the hard and messy life again like she used to during her undergraduate days as a science student. Same things happened for my UPU, but it’s a little bit different. I put life science courses as my top choices and to be saved, I put the English course as my 4^th choice. As I said to my mum, “If buat dentistry dalam negara, I am okay but not studying that course at overseas.” Knowing how tough it would be and being me yang super over manja with my mother, I was afraid that I am not that strong to do it without having my family by my side. Mengada-ngada kan.

Even for the other scholarship, I applied for business or economics or social science but never for the science course. But I didn’t manage to get any scholarship.

For JPA scholarship result, the result was known a day before I entered CFS. And I was not even prepared mentally and physically to enter there and do ENGLISH. When I knew that I failed to nail the JPA scholarship, I cried as hard as I can and I was so frustrated to bit. Of course, I felt very sad. Most of my classmates had secured themselves with the dream of playing snow and knowing that at that time, my ex-bf was in the same position of getting TNB scholarship. Lagila I frustrated gila-gila kan. Only Allah knows how down I was.

But my mother kept telling me that maybe by doing English, ALLAH will show you the way. So, I stuck at Nilai, half-heartedly studying English. With the people pessimism and skeptics view on learning English. I stressed up myself. As the result, I blew up the first semester. In addition with the unfinished frustration, anger and the broke up, I unofficially did a suicide with my terrible sucks pointer. For other people, it seemed just a normal result. But not for me. I thank Allah for blessing me with my parents who didn’t complain much as they understood my situation. I slowly woke up and realized that this is what Allah has planned for me.

Bit by bit, accepting the fact that Insya-ALLAH one day I will become a linguist. Never once crossed in my mind that I’ll be taking language as my degree and for that Alhamdulillah. No more lawyer or orthodontist but a linguist. Sometimes, when we dream too high, Allah will give us a reality check to make us realize where we should stand and as a sign to recheck ourselves also improve to be a better person. My ambition is not my reality.

This is how my study table looked alike during the exam week. Messy all around.

The penguat semangat. :)

liar and faker

2011-12-31T13:42:00.001+08:00

I need to write this on, since I cannot express it verbally. I am sorry indeed if any of you being offended with my words.

Entah, being me, aku memang seorang yang cepat marah, I mean, easily fired up. Tapi senang sangat nak cool down. 5 minit je tahan marah, lepas tu back to normal. Sangat tak reti nak marah-marah atau benci orang lama. Even after marah tu dah sebaldi keluar air mata, lepas tu terus okay dah. Tapi ada satu benda je yang akan buat aku rasa, I-AM-SERIOUSLY-GONNA-HATE-YOU-FOR-A-LONG-PERIOD-OF-TIME, which is bila aku rasa macam TIPAH TERTIPU, BANG/AKAK! Ada ke orang suka kena tipu, takde kan. Siapa yang kenal aku, they know, I am a straight forward person. Dalam family kitorang memang dah dilatih macam tu. Mak cakap, kalau betul, cakap benda tu betul, kalau tak suka or salah, cakap benda tu salah. Even aku pun memang selalu kena berdas-das tembakan menusuk kalbu. Tapi for me, it's better. Biar rasa sakit sekarang, dari nanti kita melara dan menderita di kemudian hari. Mungkin kebenaran tu dapat mengubah kita punya personaliti untuk menjadi yang lebih baik. Who knows. Kadang-kadang hidayah ALLAH ini kita tak boleh nak jangka dalam bentuk macam mana dia nak datang. Of course lah kan, itupun kena go for the certain extend la jugak, bukannya aku main nak laser orang mcam tu je. Mestilah kena ambil kira banyak benda juga.

Haaaaa, aku tak kisah if you don't want people to know the truth, yela, kadang-kadang kita pun faham, bukan semua benda boleh share dengan kita, TAPI dah lah first kau tak pandai nak cover your lie tu lepas tu macam selamba badak reveal the truth in front of me. Rasa macam, kita ni tengah dipijak-pijak orang. Takpe, tu cool lagi sebab dia takdela kacau hidup kita sangat mentally and physically but emotionally, yes. Tapi, lepas tu siap baik-baik dengan kita, tu sangat tak boleh nak terima. Apa kata kalau just bagi tahu perkara sebenar, aku rasa lagi okay kot. Semua orang boleh terima dan semua orang takde penyakit hati dan minda ni. Ye dak?!

I am EASILY forgive people, but HARDLY forget the incident. Yes, I am a typical girl and normal human being too.

Susahnya la kan nak buang penyakit hati ni terutama marah dan hasad.

Astaghfirullahalazim. May ALLAH forgive me. :(

of hindustan and exam

2011-12-31T00:56:00.000+08:00

Disebabkan next paper aku jatuh pada hari Rabu, yakni bersamaan 4 Januari 20 12, dan saya tersadai seperti ikan paus dekat mahallah UIA yang tercinta ni sebab mak tak bagi balik rumah, maka, inilah aktiviti yang paling produktif yang boleh dilakukan untuk mengisi kesenggangan masa yang ada sebanyak 5 hari ni. Marathon cerita hindustan.

Oh, next paper ialah paper WRITING which is kalau nak jawab tu adalah rasa seram sejuk bagi penulis yang selalu ada writer's block macam aku ni. Bayangkan, dalam masa 2 jam tu, kena tulis 1 page summary based on 5 long pages punya article lepas tu, kena tulis pulak 3 long pages argument essay. Argh, mental jugak aku rasa lepas habis paper writing ni. Alangkah nak menyiapkan 5 pages term paper pun seakan-akan seperti orang meroyan walaupun semua bantuan tinggal nak telan je, mengambil masa selama 13 minggu, ini pulak 3 pages dalam masa 1 jam. Scaryyyy! Masalahnya, kalau nak suruh study pun, nak kena study apa pun tak tahu sebab sir cakap, it is all based on your language use and how you summarize and paraphrase your idea.

And, alhamdulillah, 2 papers dah siap - POETRY and POLITICAL SCIENCE. Both were quite okay. Boleh buat. Tapi frust la jugak dengan paper Political Science, sebab carry mark dah okay, tapi final dia, rasa macam nak guling-guling dalam drama hindustan. Soalan dia memang straight to the point, tapi boleh, aku terkebil-kebil nak dekat setengah jam, belek soalan tu tak tahu nak tulis apa. Nak minor in Political Science. I need good grade for this subject. :( Tawakkaltu 'ala Allah.

Jadinya, marilah menghilangkan stress yang ada dengan menonton cerita hindustan yang aku tak tahulah berapa kali ulang tapi tak bosan macam cerita kat bawah ni. Hum Saath Saath Hain. Best. All time favourite movie kot.

Cepatlah hari Rabu! And cepatlah habis exam!

exam mood

2011-12-27T09:37:00.001+08:00

Well, this is my examination table.

I have 10 days gap after my 4th January paper. -.-

To IIUM students and also my friends who are currently having examination, bittaufiq wan najah!

waiting

2011-12-24T12:37:00.000+08:00

To you :')

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

the video

2011-12-23T12:37:00.000+08:00

Salam jumaat everyone. :)

Ok, as promised, I'm home. And, here is the video I recited the poem entitled The Drop that Became a Sea by Yunus Emri. I did miss one or two words.

Bolehlah kalau nak gelakkan sikit-sikit, sebab aku pun gelak jugak time tengok video nih. Macam ape je baca.

dedicated to atiqah dzulkefli

2011-12-21T16:15:00.000+08:00

Duhai sayangku,
hidup ini tak selalunya indah,
sepertinya langit tak selalu cerah,
bak awan yang kadang-kadang putih,
kadang-kadang kelabu.

Tapi ketahuilah,
setiap yang berlaku,
di bawah pengawasan-Nya,
di dalam kekuasaan-Nya.

Hidup ini,
kalau tiada ranjaunya,
tiada durinya,
tiada persimpangan,
bukanlah pengalaman
yang dapat mendewasakan.

Cabaran yang diberi,
harus ditempuhi dengan penuh iman,
dijalani dengan penuh tawakal,
dilalui dengan penuh istiqamah.

Dia ada perancangan yang terbaik untuk kita,
hanya Dia Maha-Mengetahui.
Semoga sentiasa tenang dalam mawaddah-Nya.

Uhibbukifillah

P/S: Sorry bratha, walk with talk please. ;)

insya-ALLAH! :)

2011-12-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Sekarang ni as in pukul 9 lebih tadi, tengah buat term paper. Lepas tu suddenly, bukak fb and tengok ramai gila orang shared video dekat atas ni. And I opened the link on YouTube, it turns out that she is my friend in UIA. Kitorang pernah satu group Fardhu Ain, tapi being me yang super duper always busy time Sem 1 and selalu gila tak datang kelas Fardhu Ain sebab kena pergi sana sini, I rarely knew her, tapi bila jumpa, kitorang senyum la.

Menangis berjemaah Sofiah, Shafa and me tadi tengok this video. Sangat-sangat terharu! Ni kalau ulang 10 kali tengok pun, boleh nangis lagi ni.

Weh, aku salute gila dekat Dena nih. Dahlah pilihan parents weh, lepas tu dapat pulak lelaki yang super sweet and baik hati, kalau macam tu aku pun nak jugak! Untungnya lah dia. Kalau dia menangis time that guy proposed, aku rasa kalau aku boleh pengsan. Okay, tu over. Nak future husband yang macam tu jugak. No doubt, lah kan, zaman sekarang pun pilihan ibu bapa still yang terbaik! Oh, dalam video tu dia ada mention her fiance jumpa parents dia kan, awww, tu lagilah super extra credit. Aku memang cepat cair betul dengan kalau guys yang pergi jumpa parents perempuan ni. Bagus! Semoga jodoh Dena and her fiance kekal hingga ke syurga.

Mari kita doa sama-sama supaya dapat jodoh yang baik-baik belaka! :)

unintended

2011-12-17T21:10:00.001+08:00

The song suddenly came into my mind after the gothic poetry gig last night. Oh my, I love this song so much. And the other section performed this song, and suddenly I was awaken from my sleep by it since I arrived at my hostel around 6 something nearly to 7 after meeting up with my girls - Nadya and Syamimi, at KLCC. It was so tired though that I can sleep during the poetry performance. But thank you to this song for waking me up and made my mood changed from sleepy to 'I need a tissue, my tears are going to drop by any soon'. It just I have no reason for the cry. Ala, everytime I heard this song, memang cengeng pun.

The lyric is so poetic though. ;')

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love

You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

Kan. Kan. Ada rasa macam terharu tak?

P/S: Don't worry. You don't have to hide it from me. I just knew it all. ;)

the day; we eat sufi poetry gig

2011-12-15T13:51:00.002+08:00

Finally, this gig has ended. It haunted me like a week. Walking like a zombie everyday. Oh, the panda eyes were my best friend last week. We practiced every night until 12 a.m. And being me, who need perfect hours of sleep, it worth while. I don't sleep in the class eventhough my eyes can barely open and I look like a hippo whom keeps unstoppable yawning . We practiced the choir over and over again.

Let me tell you the story behind the pictures:

Oh, we had our gig at the mini auditorium which id for me, the stage is so not cool. It's so near to the audience. And I don't like reciting or talking to anonymous so dekat. It gives me stage fright eventhough I am not fear of talking in public. I love the stage at KKB - much more bigger.

Ahha. I do complain a lot!

Still in the choir practice :)

When we didn't have any place to go for our practice, we did it at the EDU square. The most perfect place if you want to scream. :)

And this is my group mates - the girls. We called ourselves The Endogenous Poets which means The Original Poets, which again, I am not born with the skill to compose the words into something nice to be listened to. But, I am good at sarcasm and romantics line too! Try me! ;P

The up stand for the welcome remark.

The background.

The iron ladies for the night: Aish, Azureen and Fatin :)

The time where the butterflies started dancing in my stomach. Oh yes, no matter how confident I am talking to people, I am still struggling with the stage fright disorder - topophobia. :D

They were the dancers who performing the sufi dance as the opening.

She is the best. My lecturer, Ms. Sheena. She is so jolly and bubbly and fun too.

You can find her in the YouTube if you want to watch her reciting the poem - as in the correct way of recitation. Not like mine. -.-'

This kakak was super awesome. We have like the open floor session where you can read your poem. And her poem, vavava, Shakespeare pun menangis kalau dengar. And they had like a flash mob but in the poetry version. I called it a poem mob where her friends suddenly stood up and continued reading the poem.

Here is the dance.

Oh, this is during our group performance. We have another two guys in our group. Malik and Syidi and Malik is a Bosnian! Teruja kejap. Ehehe

Lastly, our choir performance. Pheww.

My lovely and crazy mazy classmates :)

And with ms Sheena. She's good at doing faces though :)

Alhamdulillah, the gig has ended smoothly. Oh, I have my video reciting the poem. But with the 'super duper terribly fast' internet connection, I save my lovely voice for the upcoming, upcoming, next week blog post when I'm home. I am not going back to home this week :'(. Still finding ways to cope with the unfinished assignments before the revision week started.

Again, we have another poetry gig tomorrow night which is WE EAT GOTHIC POETRY GIG! It's gothic y'all. Whoever feels so dark and mysterious, come join us. Same place, same time!

PICTURES COURTESY: Nur Asyrani Ryssa and Fatin Nur Hafizah.

P/S: I, somehow, can read your feelings and mind, hypnotically.

japanese cotton cheese cake

2011-12-12T17:49:00.000+08:00

The picture is a little bit blurred. Captured through handphone. :)

Finally, I managed to bake this cake. Well, I am a cheese lover. That is enough to explain why my body is so comel for the past 19 year. ;)

So ANY food that has cheese in it, I'll entirely sure will try to cook or bake it. Unless the ingredients are too expensive or hard to find, I just go to any restaurant that sell the food.

Ok, japanese cotton cheese cake was first eaten when I first know what is cheese cake and how delicious it is. So far, the best cheese cake (this type) you can find is at Jaya Jusco's bakery. Seriously, it is so fluffy and cheesy and delicious until I can finished the 5" cake by my own. I am a monster though when it comes to food and very picky too if I have to eat outside except for fast food. :D

the aww-ed feelings

2011-12-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

There're two things that made me feel so awwwww-ed tonight.

PUISI CINTA YANG DATANG DARI HATI by ZAHIRIL ADZIM

Aku pasti punya masalah
Tiap kali ingin menulis puisi buatmu.
Entah kenapa, kuasa cintamu lebih hebat
Dari kata-kata yang akan terkeluarkan.
Saat itu langsung aku setuju yang dirimu satu.
Dan hari ini kau menjadi isteriku.

Ampunkan aku kalau aku pernah berkasar,
Ampunkan aku kalau aku pernah mengherdik,
Ampunkan aku kalau aku pernah menjerit,
Ampunkan aku kalau aku pernah terpekik, melolong,
Isteriku, percayalah sebabnya ialah kasih dan cinta.

Akan ku jaga kau seperti ku jaga diriku sendiri,
Memang hidup itu tidak pernah ada jaminan keselamatan,
Bahaya, ancaman di mana-mana
Tapi selagi kau dalam dakapanku,
Aku berjanji akan menjagamu
Setiap saat dan waktu,
Setiap siang dan malam,
Setiap guruh dan hujan,
Setiap panas dan terik,
Setiap nafasku.

Aku sering menadah telapak tangan,
Dan memohon pada Tuhan,
Agar kau, bukan sahaja kau menjadi isteriku,
Tetapi menjadi isteri yang disayangi Allah Ta’ala

Isteriku.
Selamat datang ke hidupku,
Selamat menjadi isteriku.
Selamat menjadi ibu pada anak-anakku kelak.
Selamat menjadi menantu ibu bapaku.
Selamat menjadi adik dan kakak pada adik-beradikku.
Selamat menjadi keluargaku.
Selamat menjadi pelengkap hidupku.
Selamat menjadi separuh dari aku.

I'll upload my pics and videos during the WE EAT SUFI POETRY GIG after I have my copy :)

we eat sufi poetry gig!

2011-12-09T00:00:00.001+08:00

As an English major student, I am surely will learn all the literature stuffs. This semester, I am currently taking Introduction to Poetry. Thus, what is a point learning poetry without having poem recital event right?

So, I am welcoming all of you to come and watch us in our very own poetry gig - yes, we have a gig too!, with the theme 'SUFISM'.

Oh, and I will be reciting the poem on that night too. :)

Who says poetry is boring?

It's fun!

We promise you something different that night!

LET'S COME AND JOIN US!

wake up and smile!

2011-12-06T12:42:00.001+08:00

Awww. This is so sweet, Mufidah. I was sleeping when she put the scarf on my desk. It is a silk scarf! My current love for tudung apart from bawal scarves. And she left me with a beautiful note that made me so touched. :')

She said that when she saw the scarf, she remembered me. :)

This thing is one of the thing that made my day yesterday.

I shall buy her something in return. ;)

Oh, these are my cute friends;

From left; Mufidah, Syamil Sofiah and Me. And Aisyah too.

They are my clique during my CFS time. The best of the best.

****Random babble: I just can't accept people who simply forget their friends after they have made a relationship which you yourself have no guarantee if you can make it through for years as you have done it with your friends. No gender bias. It's all the same. PANTANG BESAR!

for everything that happened,

2011-12-01T16:26:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah. This week so far has been a great week for me after having some internal emotion conflict lately.

Oh, I just want to share the happy news that I'd received yesterday, my application for the Pinjaman Pelajaran Selangor has been approved. Tak kisahlah walaupun pinjaman je pun. :)

Before I go back to my home from UIAM, I had a conversation with Sofiah and we talked about the never end issue - COUPLE. Memangla nampak lame gila. Btw, jangan salah sangka, we were not talking about having boyfriend or such a thing. And what made me so interested is that how Sofiah has given me such an impact towards the issue. Dia siap pesan dekat aku, dia kata:

"Kita tak tahu macam mana kita akan diuji walaupun kita ni pakai tudung labuh or alim macam mana pun, ujian ALLAH ni kita tak tahu macam mana. Aku harap, kalau tiba-tiba aku diberi ujian 'cinta' dan kau nampak aku macam lalai dengan semua benda ni, please, marah la aku, tegur lah aku do whatever it takes untuk wake me up."

It strikes me off when she said that. Seriously, until now, apa yang dia cakap tu still playing in my mind. Ya ALLAH, aku tak pernah rasa macam tu kalau aku diberi ujian 'cinta' tu. As for me, it is part of life. So you should take the chance lah kan. Bak kata orang, bila lagi nak rasa. And after my break up, I admit that I took over a year to get over the feelings and of course la kan, kadang-kadang bila kita sayang orang tu sangat-sangat, tak banyak pun, mesti ada sikit la hope untuk getting back together. Tapi tu dulu, you know what. After masuk UIA ni, I've learnt a lot, especially from my surrounding. How love can take you away from ALLAH and other human beings. Bila fikir balik apa yang Sofiah cakap, it reflected back what I've done before. No, I am not regretting it but I feel so grateful for going through it.

And we discussed and having the same thought that now is not the right time for you to get your own love. Kalau lah ada sekalipun, apa kata hold dulu for a while. Means, kalau betul kita sayang sangat dekat orang tu tapi kita tak mampu nak berkahwin untuk menghalalkan perhubunga tu, apa kata kita tak payah decision untuk couple. We keep the feelings for ourselves and at the same time, we pray to ALLAH to protect our feelings and the relationship. Kalau betul dia sayang kita, mesti dia pun sama macam kita jugak, akan terima dan respect apa yang kita decide. If not, you know what I mean kan. Simpan rasa untuk diri sendiri. Masing-masing tahu apa yang ada dalam diri masing-masing dan tahu apa yang nak dibuatkan. :) Sambil tu jugak, kita boleh sembahyang istikharah, untuk mintak petunjuk. Tapi harus diingat, sembahyang istikharah ni bukan untuk minta jodoh je, untuk semua benda dalam hidup kita. Nanti, bila, dah dalam tahun akhir, dah nampak hala tuju the relationship, barulah go further, contohnya, jumpa parents dia ke apa ke kan. :)

Alang-alang tu, I want to share the du'as that I always recite after my prayer everyday. :)

25:74 And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

AND

"Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, kalau benar dia jodohku, maka Kau dekatkanlah ia. Jikalau dia bukan jodohku, maka Jauhkanlah dia daripadaku"

Believe me, yang second du'a tu, it works.

And thank you Syamil Sofiah, for being such a good friend to me, who keeps reminding me about everything in life and also Islam.

Before I end, let me share with you, this great documentary about Dr. Muhaya.

***p/s: Kalau ada rasa tu, simpan-simpanlah dulu dan berdoalah. Kalau dah mampu, bolehlah kahwin :D

break

2011-11-27T22:48:00.000+08:00

Emotional breakdown.

or

PMS je ni?

***p/s: Ada sesiapa nak tolong buatkan term paper? Nak upah ni. Tak sanggup dah rasanya. Penatttttt.

current wishlists

2011-11-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

My current wishlists cum to be my obsession;

Fuji Mini Instax 7s

Polaroid SUN LMS

Ultra Wide & Slim - Tomodachi You

Diana Mini

Fuhhh!

Seems like I have to start cutting off my food and monthly shopping expenses to get the Instax @ Polaroid and Tomodachi You @ Diana Mini before my semester break holiday begins.

Dulu bila tengok English movie, mesti dorang pakai polaroid kalau tangkap gambar, masa tu memang kagum gila lah. Daripada dulu lagi berangan nak ada satu. Tapi zaman aku kecil-kecil dulu, I don't have that much exposure. So, sekarang, boleh la penuhi hasrat hati tu. Hihihihi. And for analogue camera pulak, rasa macam classic and vintage gila arts form dia. I easily fall in love dengan benda yang agak rare and unique. Maybe some may say, I just following trend, you know the lomography thingy. Tapi, apparently not, I just do this for my own self satisfaction. :)

Ada yang nak belanja saya tak?

Picture courtesy: http://www.theclickshop.net

doa rabitah

2011-11-23T13:32:00.001+08:00

Sebagai seorang Muslim, mesti kita pernah dengar tentang AL-MA'THURAT. Al-Ma'thurat ialah himpunan doa dan zikir yang diamalkan oleh Nabi Muhammmad S.A.W. Biasanya kita amalkan pada waktu pagi lepas subuh sampai sebelum zohor dan dari lepas 'Asar sampai sebelum masuk waktu 'Isya'. The interesting part about Al-Ma'thurat ni is do'a rabitah. Do'a rabitah ni kita baca lepas habis baca ma'thurat. Do'a ni juga dikenali sebbai do'a peneguh hati. Yang membuatkan rasa nak tulis tentang do'a ni sebab semalam baca Al-Ma'thurat dekat masjid sambil tunggu nak pergi kelas malam. Lepas tu ambil, mini ma'thurat yang ada dekat masjid, bila time nak baca do'a ni, tengok sekali imbas dia punya maksud, dekat situ tulis, bila kita baca do'a ni bayangkan wajah kawan-kawan kita and sebab dia dah mudahkan maksud do'a ni - disusun dalam bentuk point, not in paragraph, rasa macam terkesan sangat dengan maksud dia. Rasa sebak. Nak menangis pun ada. Sebab selama ni, baca je doa ni dan maksud dia, tapi tak go in deep sangat.

Ya Allah…
Engkau mengetahui bahawa
Hati-hati ini berhimpun kerana mengasihi-Mu
Bertemu untuk mematuhi perintah-Mu
Bersatu memikul beban dakwah-Mu
Hati-hati ini telah mengikat janji setia
untuk menegak dan mendaulatkan syariah-Mu

Maka eratkanlah Ya Allah akan ikatannya
Kekalkan kemesraan antara hati-hati ini
Tunjukkanlah kepada hati-hati ini
Akan jalannya yang sebenar
Penuhkanlah piala hati ini
Dengan limpahan iman, keyakinan dan keindahan tawakkal kepada-Mu
Hidup suburkanlah hati-hati ini
Dengan makrifat pengetahuan yang sebenar tentang-Mu

Jika Engkau mentakdirkan mati
Maka matikanlah pemilik hati-hati ini
Sebagai para syuhada dalam perjuangan agama-Mu

Engkaulah sebaik-baik sandaran
Dan sebaik-baik penolong Ya Allah
Perkenankanlah permintaan ini
Amin…

20112011

2011-11-20T20:46:00.002+08:00

Today is hadziq 8th birthday. Since he has nice birthdate 20112011, so we celebrate it for him. :)

Kitorang masak lauk makan lunch biasa je. Ada sambal tumis udang petai, ayam masak balack peper ( I cook that!), sambal ikan rebus, sayur campur & sup daging. Terliur balik. *drooling*

20112011 :)

Muhammad Azfar Ehsan. The apple of my eyes currently :)

Awwww. I'm started to miss him.

The happy face.

Tok bapak. Ahhahaha.

Insyirah & Hadziq

The dessert table.

Oh, our theme colour for the celebration are white and blue.

Air pun biru.

Birthday present.

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD HADZIQ AFHAM HAMDAN.

I LOVE YOU

guru

2011-11-16T14:17:00.001+08:00

Baru-baru ni kan ada keluar berita yang mencadangkan supaya para guru bekerja macam office hour tapi kerja lagi awal la kan from 7 am to 4 pm which I strongly disagree to the instruction walaupun baru peringkat experiment lagi. Selama-lamanya aku tak setuju Sebagai anak seorang pendidik, which is my mum, aku tak rasa benda ni patut dilaksanakan. Kesian sangat dekat cikgu-cikgu. kadang-kadang tak payah diarahkan pun, dorang kerja macam kerja orang office. Keluar pukul 6.40, balik pukul 3-4 petang. orang ingat kerja jadi cikgu ni senang agaknya. Setiap hari, ada je perkara baru yang kena mereka hadapi, which is common lah kan untuk semua orang tapi kalau korang kene mengajar 40 orang budak yang jenis susah sikit nak belajar dan setiap hari kena draw their attention to get them focus, adakah anda mampu lakukan semua itu? Truthfully, mak aku ajar subjek Sains Teras untuk kelas aliran sastera which she has to teach kids that have learning problem, ada yang everytime to write a word, he/she needs to look at the white board and copy each letter. Every year ok dia dapat kelas macam tu. Kalau aku la, kan, aku surrender awal-awal. Tu tak tambah lagi kerja pentadbiran, jadi guru penasihat and etc semua. If your mum/dad a teacher, you know it.

Nanti ada la orang kata pulak, tu la siapa suruh jadi cikgu. Kena la bersedia nak tempuhi segala-galanya. Korang ingat senang ke jadi cikgu weyh. Nak jadi cikgu sifat kasih sayang ni kena menebal dalam diri. Based on apa yang mak aku cerita, guru-guru muda sekarang ni, SEGELINTIR ni lack of love. Kalau dah suruh ajar-ajar je la, despite of everything that happens in the class. Paling kuat pun, tengking suruh duduk dengar apa yang mereka nak ajar. As a growing up kid, memang la tak kan budak nak dengar kalau kena tengking je selalu, aku pun tak kan buat jugak. So there must be a way untuk tarik perhatian budak-budak ni. Setiap hari ok kena fikir cara macam mana nak suruh pelajar dengar cakap kita semua. Itu tak kena face to face dengan parents lagi kalau ada budak yang jenis spoil brat sikit-sikit nak mengadu kalau kena marah. Stress ok.

Balik rumah - in my case, kena masak lagi sebab kitorang mana ada bibik. Kena jadi macam ibu-ibu lain jugak. Kena masak, kemas rumah semua. Takkan la nak beli makan luar hari-hari and panggil orang indon upah cuci rumah every week. Kalau balik badan dah penat, tambah buat kerja rumah lagi, malam tu badan dah lunyai. Esok kena buat rutin yang sama lagi. Tu untuk weekdays, kalau weekend, nanti hari Sabtu kena pergi sekolah ada course itula, course inilah. 1 sukan la apa la. Seriously, as a child, kadang-kadang rasa mak aku ni macam bapak aku, workaholic gila, macam kerja office. Tak sempat nak spend time masa dengan dia. Kadang-kadang nak ajak dia keluar shopping sama-sama pun kesian sebab ye la weekend the only time dia berehat. Itu tak kira time aku dekat MRSM dulu. Lagila dahsyat. Kalau Sabtu sekolah, hari Ahad, pagi-pagi dah kena masak macam-macam untuk bawa bekal melawat aku kat maktab. Aku yang tumpang stress tengok mak aku macam tu.

Lepastu ada pulak orang cakap, cikgu patut bersyukur sebab gaji cikgu selalu je naik.Banyak complain pulak. Cik abang cik kakak, memang la bersyukur. Tapi orang kerja gomen pun bising, kalau dah tinggal kat KL ni, dah tolak bayar hutang rumah, kereta segala bagai, berapa banyak la sangat dapat. Nak-nak kalau anak ramai. Jangan nak mempersoalkan anak ramai tu eh. Kang tak pasal-pasal dari pandai jadi kurang pandai. Kalau cikgu ni gaji banyak, takdela cikgu-cikgu ni duk sibuk jual Zhulian la, Avon la or any direct selling yang lain, baik pergi spa je hari-hari.

Nanti kalau ada je yang tak kena dengan sistem pendidikan, cikgu jugak yang kena. PPSMI tu, memang mak aku sokong supaya dimansuhkan, kalau kau ajar budak yang tak berapa nak bagus English dia, macam mana, still kena translate in BM, which is berkesan ke tak berkesan? From good perspective, baguslah, guru-guru boleh improve their english, even mak aku pun aku boleh tengok her progress. Tu tak masuk lagi tang masalah disiplin. Kalau aku cerita, 7 hari 7 malam pun tak habis.

Jadi hentikanlah idea suruh cikgu kerja office hour, kesianlah dekat kami, anak-anak cikgu. Dulu boleh je merasa mak balik pukul 1 paling lambat pukul 2. Sekarang dah macam balik kerja sama macam bapak aku kerja office, cuma dia awal je sikit.

Dan hentikanlah komen kata cikgu itu, cikgu ini. Kau jadilah sebahagian daripada keluarga pendidik. Tahulah apa yang aku rasa dan cakapkan ni.

2 decades

2011-11-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

Happy 21st anniversary mak and bapak. Both of you have gone through so much challenges and circumstances that make your marriage stay strong and happy until now. May ALLAH always bless your marriage and our family with full of mawadah, sakinah and rahmah. You are the best couple in the world - two different head yet share one mind and soul.

When I want to get married, I want to find a husband not exactly but the same like my father because apparently he is the champion and I will try my best to be like my mother. Both of you will be my guidance. :)

I love both of you.

Btw, this date also remarks 9 years of the demise of my uncle, my mother's second brother. May you rest in peace Ayah Ngah. Al-Fatihah.

when i'm in total stress,

2011-11-15T00:03:00.002+08:00

These are the things that distressed me back;

See colourful things like this one;

Sleeping. OF COURSE!

And cooking.

And YOU! :)

way back to love

2011-11-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

I'm finding my way back to love. :)

But nobody wants me :(

Btw, just want to share about what I am doing during the break. The holiday will be over by tomorrow and yet I'm still enjoying my own sweet comfy time laying back without doing anything. I think most of my course mates are struggling to finish up the writing subject. And yet, I'm not even thinking about it. Aha. Later ok. Last minute works are the best. -.-

I WANT MORE HOLIDAY!

bicara sahabat

2011-11-04T19:43:00.000+08:00

Duhai sahabat,
aku tak punya kekayaan ,
aku tak secantik kawan-kawan mu yang lain,
aku tak se"open minded" rakan-rakan mu yang lain untuk berbicara perihal lelaki
aku tak punya citarasa dalam fesyen,
aku tak mampu nak berbicara bahasa kolonial sepanjang masa

Yang aku mampu,
hanya budi yang tak seberapa,
paras yang sederhana
bicara ukhwah kasih sayang
pakaian yang seadanya
bicara yang sebiasa adanya aku
dan hati yang ikhlas untuk bersahabat sehingga ke syurga dengan mu.

Ketahuilah sahabat,
walau aku tidak mampu menandingimu,
aku tidak pernah rasa kerdil,
kerana aku tahu engkau ikhlas.

Tapi, janganlah sesekali kau buang perhubungan ini,
hanya kerana aku dan kau berbeza
dari dahulu dan sekarang.

reading wishlists!

2011-11-03T21:35:00.000+08:00

These two books are my current reading wishlist.

I love his idea. He's such a genius. Read it up.

I am more keen to read political books and biography rather than novel nowadays which will take up to 1 year of me reading it.

Gonna hunt it tomorrow!

needs and wants :)

2011-10-31T16:14:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah. I'm in shock actually. Sebab hari tu try masuk system dia. Lepastu, sumpah system dia telah membuatkan aku yang kurang sabr ni semakin banyak dosanya. At last, tutup terus and tak isi penuh pun form dia sebab fed-up dengan the system sampai ke sudah. Then, tadi Wani call cakap my name was listed for the loan. Memanglah kan terpinga-pinga. Checked by myself. And here what it got. Again, kena interview. So hopefully I'm not screwing up my interview this time. Insya-ALLAH.

***Sometimes ALLAH gives what you need, not what you want. I'm blessed. Again, Alhamdulillah. :)

ʌɪ mɪs ʝʊ

2011-10-29T13:13:00.000+08:00

I found these pictures in one of my back up folder after doing some documents cleaning. To be truth, I miss those moments.

Ignore the quality of the pictures, zaman tu baru nak up kot pakai DSLR, mana mampu, handphone bolehlah. :)

Woi, nak gila-gila macam ni lagi weh! Nak balik sekolah balik.

This one, a few days before SPM, during English COS. Kita duduk belakang ramai-ramai and tangkap gambar sengal banyak-banyak. Lepas tu nynyi lagu Man in The Mirror.

During Chemistry COS. Ruang Legar PSP. :)

This one, ponteng COS Agama sebab nak balik lunch awal. Huahua.

Oh yeah, these two people are my COS-mate, serious rindu dorg.

Makcik-makcik yang sengal :D

COS Chemistry, lagi 2 hari nak habis SPM. Aww, gorgeous, bila mahu ketemu?

Again, them. <3

hello sweat and fat!

2011-10-29T00:31:00.001+08:00

This week,I managed to hold myself from not going back to my dearly beloved home after non-stop 7 weeks of doing it without boring.

Thank you to my term-papers and mid-semester examination.

Ho-yeah.

Oh, btw, I'm not joining any club or organisation that requires meeting and commitment this semester. Feels like having a normal life as a student. It's heaven you know. :D

And, apart of that, I become so enthusiastic going to swimming. Yeay me! Thanks to Amal :)

At least, I changed from the mak dugong to a shark whom prefer to move rather than lay on the bed. Haha.

Another thing that has made me to become more productive than before is the cycling activity. I prefer cycling and aerobic too (bought the CD!) rather than jogging or walking. Since UIA has offered irresistible temptation whereby you can rent the bicycle with only RM 1, so, I'm not going to miss the chance.

As I can remember, I did not cycle since I was form 3 which was 4 years ago. Excited!

So, no more sleeping like a dugong in the evening like always.

And,

HELLO SWEAT, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU SOON! YOU TOO MUSHY FATS! ;P

with just,

2011-10-23T20:24:00.002+08:00

Tonnes of assignments - 4 term and research papers waiting to be written.
Mid-semester exam is just around the corner.

And finally,

I AM STRESSSED.

The moment of life has came. :)

#5 of changing: solat

2011-10-18T20:41:00.000+08:00

Bila kita bercakap tentang nak berubah atau berhijrah, kebanyakan dari kita mesti ada pandangan skeptikal.

“Eiii, kau nak jadi ustazah eh.”

“Eh-eh, dah alim la kau ni.”

Kadang-kadang kita boleh hilang kawan sebab satu penghijrahan. Penghijarahan ke arah kebaikan merupakan satu permulaan untuk membina satu lagi fasa kematangan dalam diri kita. Kita nak berhijrah ni kena luaran dan dalaman. Tak boleh la kan kata dah pakai tudng dari tak bertudung is a complete hijrah. Dalaman juga mesti kena bentuk. Solat. Mudah je kan perkataan tu. Tapi, masya-ALLAH, nak laksanakan tu, macam payah je nak buat.

Jom kita tengok situasi yang selalu berlaku.

Kalau nak bangun Subuh tu, aduhaiiii susahnya. Nak-nak kalau tengah mimpi indah, sejuk pula tu. Sedap kalau sambung tidur lagi ni. Nanti-nantilah. Tengok-tengok bagun matahari dah tinggi atas kepala. Dah terlepas satu waktu fardhu. Kita jalankan aktiviti harian kita, dengar pula azan zohor dah masuk, tengah makan sedap ni, baru nak suap mulut nak makan.

“Eh, nak makan ke, nak solat? Ala, makan je lah dulu, Nabi kan kata kalau perut tengah lapar, makan dulu, takut nanti solat tak khusyuk.”

Kita pun makanlah dengan suka hati sampai terbaring kekenyangan. Lepastu, syaitan pun mula meniup-niup mata kita suruh kita tidur. Kita pun tergoda dengan niat pukul 3 nanti bangunlah solat zohor. Malangnya, tiupan nafas syaitan ke kelopak mata kita ni terlampau kuat sehingga terlajak ke maghrib pulak. Asar pun dah ditinggalkan. Dah 3 solat fardhu dah kita tinggalkan untuk hari ini. Maghrib pulak, bangun lapar, kita cari makanan dulu bukan solat dulu. Dah habis makan, baru ingat nak solat Maghrib, tengok-tengok dah azan Isya’ pulak.

“Ah, takpe, Isya’ kan panjang, kita enjoy dulu.”

Dan kita pun buatlah apa yang kita rasa kita nak buat sampailah kita tertidur sehingga keesokan paginya. Sehingga akhirnya, satu hari itu, kita tak solat langsung.

Bayangkan jika kita lakukan semua ini setiap hari. Satu tahun ada 365 hari, kalau hari-hari kita buat, kiralah berapa banyak solat fardhu dah kita tinggalkan.

Tapi, sayangnya ALLAH pada kita, dia tetap berikan kita udara untuk bernafas. Rezeki yang kadangkala melimpah ruah walau sedikit pun kita tak pernah mengabdikan diri padanya. Dia tetap makbulkan apa yang kita minta walaupun kita tak pernah pun luangkan masa dengan Dia. Kita lah kan sebagai manusia, kalau kita tak kenal orang tu, tiba-tiba mintak duit, ada kita nak bagi tak. Mesti tak kan. Tapi ALLAH sebagai Ya Rahman dan Rahim tetap berikan apa yang hambanya hajati. Lihat pada perkataan ‘HAMBA’ tu. Kalau ikut pada sistem kasta manusia, hamba ni ranking dia bawah sekali. Kita ni pun sebenarnya macam tu juga dengan ALLAH. Adakah ALLAH yang kena tunduk pada kita sedangkan Dia-lah yang mencipta kita, Dia-lah Tuan kita. Jadi, hamba kena patuh dengan Tuan. Bukan ingkar dengan Tuan.

Sebenarnya, nak solat ni mudah je. Siapa yang kata susah. Orang kata susah lah kalau perempuan terutamanya kena pakai telekung lah, apa lah. Sebenarnya, kita tak perlu pun pakai telekung nak sembahyang, asalkan pakaian kita diyakini bersih dan menutup aurat, mudah sahaja melakukan solat. Sebab itu Islam mewajibkan perempuan menutup aurat. Nampak tak perkaitannya dekat sini. Kalau pakaian kita seperti yang dituntut syariah, rasanya tak kan ada timbul isu susah nak sembahyang sebab takde telekung. Untuk bahagian kaki tu, bawaklah extra stokin kan. Lelaki lagi senang. J

Solat ni juga sebagai satu tanda kita bersyukur dengan ALLAH. ALLAH dah bagi kita macam-macam nikmat dekat dunia ni, takkan lah kita tak nak bersyukur. Contoh, kita dah masuk university, kalau siapa yang dapat biasiswa tu lagi lah bertuah kan, tak rasa bersyukur ke? Bayangkan kawan-kawan kita yang tak dapat mana-mana. Katakana lah, sesuatu berlaku, dalam sekelip mata, kita ditendang keluar dari university. Nauzubillah. ALLAH tarik balik semua nikmat in just a blink of eyes je. Terduduk sekejap kita. Masa itulah kita baru nak muhasabah diri kita balik. Teringat mak selalu cakap, kalau kita dah ada rezeki depan mata, dah dekat dengan genggaman kita dah ni, tiba-tiba terjatuh, kita kena check balik hubungan kita dengan ALLAH. Pertama sekali, check solat kita. Adakah kita menjaga hubungan kita dengan ALLAH sebagaimana kita jaga hubungan kita dengan kawan-kawan kita atau dengan boyfriend/girlfriend kita?

Sebenarnya, apabila kita luangkan masa kita walaupun 5 minit untuk sembahyang, ajaibnya, ALLAH akan beri kita masa yang lebih banyak sampai satu tahap kita pun tak tahu nak buat apa. Walaupun waktu itu kita dalam keadaan tergesa-gesa, insya-ALLAH, keadaan akan menjadi tenang. This was happenned to me many times. Tengok betapa ALLAH sayangkan hamba-hambanya.

Kalau kita rasa macam susah je nak solat, kita mula perlahan-lahan. Tapi hati kena kuat, kena istiqamah. Tak perlu nak sembahyang sunat dahulu. Yang penting apabla solat fardhu kita dah sempurna boleh la teruskan dengan amalan sunat yang lain. Berkawanlah dengan orang yang menjaga solat, insya-ALLAH, lama-lama sifat tu akan melekat dalam diri kita.

Aku pun pernah melalui situasi yang di atas. Pernah melalui satu fasa yang rasa susahnya nak solat ni. Tulah, hidup ni sebenarnya kita kena banyak muhasabah diri. Kita akan temui jalannya. Niat yang baik, ALLAH akan tolong diri kita.

Semoga kita sama-sama dapat berubah kearah kebaikan.

Teringat satu quote ni “ Solat yang sempurna melahirkan peribadi yang sempurna.”

Listen to this poem on jannah. It is so beautiful. :)

nasihat kakak

2011-10-16T12:25:00.001+08:00

Tadi masa blogwalking, I found my juniors blog. And as expected, most of their blog post are fulled with their love story. Weh baru form 4 kot. Okay, I know it is their right to be in love or being loved whatsoever. Tapi kan. Macam show off sangat yang korang ni bercintan-cintun. Siap jealous kalau ada kawan diorang dating. I know darah muda. Tapi adik-adikku sekalian, percayalah, usually it won't last long. Paling kuat tahan pun setahun lepas korang habis SPM. Maybe korang kata takkanlah. Aha, things get different my dear when you enter university or when you meet other colonies from different side of the world. Sometimes, korang break pun bukan sebab ada orang ke-100 pun, the environment make the people change. I've seen so many cases. Zaman korang sekolah tu, enjoylah puas-puas, nak bercinta boleh, tapi jangan sibuk 24-7 dok berkepit je memanjang.

Balik asrama, sama-sama. Balik prep, sama-sama. Pakai baju prep sama-sama. Time prep malam, sama-sama. Balik bilik, malam tu gayut/mesej lagi. Siap belanja nasi lemak lagi kan. Tak bosan eh. Aha, don't worry, aku pun pernah rasa juga. Tapi, you have to remember, semua benda ada limit. Give yourself a privacy. Percayalah, kalau korang asyik duk nak bersama-sama sangat, nanti lepas habis sekolah, mesti menyesal sebab tak spend time dengan kawan-kawan like betul-betul spend time where we don't talk about your boyfriend and how they treat you but you just sit, giggle everything about girls stuff. I don't have any regret. :D

I know having a boyfriend can motivate you. Mesti kita nak lumba dengan dia betul tak. Tak dapat challenge dia, at least, jadi among of the group pun jadilah kan. Tapi kena ingat, sayang boyfriend jangan lebih dari sayang ALLAH dengan parents kita. Sayang berpada-pada dengan teman tapi mesra awak yang belum tentu lagi jadi suami awak. :)

hope

2011-10-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

Dear my future husband,

I hope you can be my imam for my pray and lead me to the right path bless by ALLAH.

i just

2011-10-08T22:03:00.000+08:00

want to bake this cake and eat and forget everything that currently happen inside my mind.

p/s: I'll be posting my entry series #of changing soon. And it's about the basic thing that we always take for granted and how it affects our life. Stay tune!

of birthday celebration

2011-10-07T23:48:00.002+08:00

Let the pictures tell you the story.

LOCATION: Full House, Wangsa Walk
TIME: 1645
DATE: 06102011
MOOD: ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thank you ellisal for the cute pyjamas tu. I wear with kain batik untuk tidur malam ni.

Sungguh, kalau kena tukar nyawa untuk kau pun aku sanggup. :')

Ellisal's food

Soft shell crab, a must try menu :)

Yes, she's the one who never failed to make me happy, calm and inspire me to become a better person every single day.

*teary eyes*

:')

♥

Thank you ellisal. i'll never can repay everything that you have done for me.

You're the best thing in my life.

Thank you for being my superheroin.

Thank you for being such a strength to me.

Thank you for everything.

mixed-jumble

2011-10-07T11:07:00.004+08:00

This post is a mumble-jumble mixed up post. The content is unorganised. ;)

I just love hydrangea ;)

First of all, people always ask me, when I told them that I’d gone to pre marriage course and I want to get married early, and they will have the 'why' face reaction. And I have to explain everything. Truthfully, I thought at first that this course will be different from any other marriage courses since I’d once heard that the content of the module is not likely discussed about the sex issue rather than any normal course. But i was wrong. Nevertheless, I gained a lot of knowledge about the new things in a marriage life apart from that issue. Secondly, why should i waste time of waiting for the next 4-5 years to go to marriage courses if the chance is in front of your head. It is not the matter of you go to the marriage course, it means that you want to get married. Totally no for me. It just, I go. And you don't have to wait for your boyfriend to propose you then only you go kan. Knowledge is everywhere. :) Plus, the certificate is long-life valid.

As for early marriage, my cute friend, mufidah has posted it on her blog about this topic - here. And as for me, there is no wrong of getting married early. Ok i know, people nowadays won't prefer this type of thing. I plan to get married when i am 23 or 24. Insya-ALLAH. Why so early meh? Aha. Why you delay good things. Yes i know, people will ask about money all sort of materialistic things. And i believe in this thing, we work together, we earn together in a halal way, Insya-ALLAH, and everything will be blessed. Of course we will be given tests and challenges to see how strong we are to handle all the circumstances coming. This is actually the point where we can take this test as our key point to check on ourselves and the partner. Have you heard 'pergantungan kepada allah'? That should be in our heart.

a girl will always be a girl no matter how strong she is.

As for me, I’d once fell in love. Everything about love that involves stranger that you rarely known like you know your own family. And it’s true love is sweet. Everybody couldn’t deny that fact. I am a kind of person who hardly falls in love with guy except for my own family and best friends. I am even failed on mingling with guys except the one that I have known. People may look at me as a person who does not have any problem in approaching guys or who so ever. But the fact is, I am just shy and I don't want to. Yeah, I also have the shy-shy-cat side. :D. So when I fall, I fall really deep that when my heart breaks suddenly, I take time to glue back all the shattering pieces of my heart. This is the point where you realise that the most powerful love is love from the one and your family. So Allah has given me the chance once again to taste the sweetness of the love not from other ajnabi but from Him and usrati. And I tell myself, next time when I want to fall in love again; I want to love him deeply after our marriage even if my future husband is somebody that i have known for so long. Love needs secrecy sometimes. Of course I have to fall in love him before we marrying each other. I am not that kind of person that just accepts somebody. No, I cannot do that. I still have to go date and all. What I mean is that I believe in a simple love - as long as the man is not yours by the akad, you don't have to show it like he's the one for you. Don't sulk easily on petty things. Don't fight over small matter. Love doesn't need fight. I don't believe if you are in a relationship with someone, you have to sulk and fight semua ni. It's ridiculous and a waste of time. Katanya masam manis perhubungan. Sorry, but i think there is another way to feel the sweet sour thingy. ;)

And another thing kan, as a woman, we should think of ourselves too. I know men want to get married late. Tapi kan cuba fikir, kalau kita kahwin lambat, nanti nak beranak pun lambat, kalau kita kahwin umur 27 camtu, nanti umur 36 tak kan nak beranak lagi kan. Ehehhe. Our body need a rest too. :D

I hope i can answer my friends’ entire question about this issue.

*pictures courtesy from nadya's tumblr. check it out! thank you girl!

october

2011-10-06T14:58:00.001+08:00

i have written a half-page entry. and i delete it.

menangis

2011-09-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

Korang pernah menangis macam budak-budak kecil yang tak dapat benda yang diorg nak, yang jenis menangis sesungguh hati ti.
Well, aku rasa benda tu jadi kat aku setahun setengah yang lepas after dapat tahu yang memang tak dapat scholarship JPA.
Kali ni pun tak dapat jugak, tapi malas dah nak nangis nak kecewa bgai semua sebab dah expect dah pun.
Tapi kali ni aku menangis sepenuh hati - walaupun aku memang ratu air mata dalam family, sebab rasa takut. Boleh? Umur dah 19 tahun tak sampai seminggu perangai pun macam budak kecil lagi. Ahahha.

Tapi kan menangis jenis macam tu yang sampai tersedu-sedan, perghhhh, puas gilaaaaaaaa.
You should do once in a while. ;)

19

2011-09-26T13:44:00.000+08:00

today has remarked another meaningful day of my life.
alhamdulillah, i am now 19.

thank you ALLAH for giving me the chance to start another chapter of my life.
thank you mak for giving birth of me and being patient throughout 19 challenging years of raising me.
thank you bapak for being the strength of my life.

insya-ALLAH, hopefully with the new number that has become a part of my life for the next 1 year onward, I can be a better person in and out. :)

22092009

2011-09-22T12:37:00.003+08:00

.

2011-09-18T16:41:00.000+08:00

Penat lah wei orang asyik cakap aku gemuk.
Tolonglah faham.
Aku sedar yang aku gemuk dan supposed to be at my age, you should never have a body like a woman who have 5 kids, (yang maintain belakang kira).
Aku sedar semua tu.

So please, tolonglah,
Janganlah sibuk nak cakap aku gemuk ke apa.
Stress tahu tak.
Sedih okay.
Bukan aku tak cuba.
It takes time you know.
Kau ingat semua orang suka ke jadi gemuk weh, perut buncit, paha besar.
Siapa sukaaaaa!!!

Dan jangan cuba sedapkan hati aku by saying,
badan aku okay je and all those nice words.
Stop saying anything.
I don't need kind words.
All I need is silence.

*menangis*

Aku tahu apa yang perlu aku buat.
It just, janganlah cakap kalau nak makan nanti gemuk ke apa,
I know what I eat.

And
I'M TRYING VERY HARD.

jadual dan kursus kahwin

2011-09-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

Ini jadual aku untuk sem ni. Alhamdulillah, diberi kelapangan masa yang panjang untuk aku buat benda yang lebih berfaedah. Perhaps, DIA suruh aku study lagi kuat dan smart. Mungkin ini peluang untuk kuruskan badan, which is mainly true. Banyak kemungkinan yang mungkin sudah diberi petunjuk dan caranya, cuma terpulang kepada kita untuk aturkan dengan baik. Aturan ALLAH itu sungguh cantik, mula-mula aku kena drop subject Arab yang memang aku bengang sangat sebab, aku rasa macam lapang sangat, tapi ada hikmah yang tersembunyi yang mungkin aku sendiri tak nampak lagi. So, I hope for the best. :)

**********

Oh, pelik eh kalau pergi kursus kahwin awal? Aku pergi next week dekat UIA. Orang maybe cakap awal sangat dan tak kena masa lagi. Takpe, settle awal-awal kan senang. Eheheh, Dahlah murah - RM 45.00 for two days including makan dan minum and yang paling penting, SIJIL KAHWIN tu valid SEPANJANG HAYAT. Bila-bila nak kahwin pun boleehhhhh. :D

of taaruf week

2011-09-11T21:08:00.001+08:00

After a tiring boring orientation week, i've officially become the International Islamic University Malaysia student.

As expected, the orientation or we called it here as taaruf week will be the typical UIA orientation way. Full of briefing and talks which i mainly sleep throughout the sessions and we have to carry the taaruf bag and being treated like 9 years old kid not 19 years old adult. Like come on, we can take care of ourselves kotttt. I think, the orientation week in UIA both in gombak and pj had left me bad memories to be remembered back.

Ok. enough about the taaruf.

My classes will start I think on tuesday and my class for everyday will end at 3.50 p.m everyday. And yeay for that!

Till then, salam!

new chapter in life

2011-09-05T16:15:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow is a start for a new journey. Another new chapter in life. Another chances that i have to grab. Hopefully i can handle it well. :)

Dear stress, i hope that we can cooperate excellently like always.
And dear pressure, please give me enough volume of the tense so that i will not be lazy. You know that i cannot live without you or else i will be crazy=lazy=sleepy=ignorance. See this consequences. You better give me more. ;)

Insya-ALLAH, everything will be fine,

ربي يسر ولا تعسر ,ربي تمم بالخير

O ALLAH, make things easier for me, do not make things difficult for me

to you,

2011-09-02T20:55:00.000+08:00

whom once dedicated this song to me, good luck!

it's raya :)

2011-08-27T09:06:00.000+08:00

wishing you happy eid mubarak.

may you have bless raya everyone!

maaf zahir batin.

for this, i would like to seek for apology if i ever make you feel uncomfortable or hatred or annoyed while you reading this blog with my words.

lately,

2011-08-24T22:13:00.002+08:00

am i being too denial about the heart issue?
or what.

to be truth, that is the reality.
and yes, reality hurts.

it hurts so much when it involves your feelings and emotions.

to be truth,
THAT IS THE TRUTH!

p/s: kalau sekarang dah layak nak kahwin DAN ada calon, aku nak kahwin sekarang jugak! boleh?

bapak,

2011-08-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

Semalam hari jadi bapak yang ke 46. Dah tua dah kan. hihihi.
And i try to find my picture with bapak. Sadly kan, it's hard to see it. :(

Ini pun kan terjumpa. Ini masa dekat bandung 4 years back when i was still wearing braces and badan pun ala2 badak sumbu giteww. Muka pun muka budak sekolah

Eventhough we are not that close compared to my other siblings, yet always know that you are my idol and my superhero. You're the most strong man that i've ever known beside mak. Ironically we do quarrel a lot, but we have the same characteristics and personality. :)

May ALLAH bless you with happinness and joy. And may ALLAH grant your wish to see me to change into a better person day by day.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

hilang.

2011-08-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

petang tadi, mak bagitahu satu benda yang selama ni aku tak pernah rasa benda tu hilang daripada diri aku pun, tapi dia perasan tentang itu.

aku dah HILANG diri aku yang mana;

asyiqin yang ada sentiasa ada semangat membara

asyiqin yang tak pernah rasa putus asa

asyiqin yang akan berusaha untuk dapat apa yang dia nak sampai dapat

asyiqin yang tak akan senang-senang menangis untuk cita-cita dia

asyiqin yang akan jadi heartless bila dia gagal tapi dia akan bangkit

asyiqin yang akan sentiasa semangat dalam segala benda yang buat

asyiqin yang penuh dengan cita-cita besar

asyiqin yang sangat rajin

asyiqin yang nerd.

ini bukan untuk bangga diri. tapi ini bagi aku suatu kehilangan yang seorang ibu rasa apabila anak dia mula jatuh dan perlu ditopang semula. ini rasa seorang ibu yang sebenarnya mahu lihat aku bangun dan bangkit sebagai seorang yang dia pernah lihat dulu. mungkin emak rasa jiwa aku sudah kosong sebab aku sudah jatuh di tempat luka yang sama.

tapi, ini janji qin mak. qin janji untuk jadi seperti dulu. dan buat rasa mak bangga punyai qin sebagai seorang anak untuk segala-galanya.

#4 of changing

2011-08-11T14:31:00.001+08:00

semalam aku tengok ini kisahku dekat TV9. eh, bulan puasa ni aku rajin tengok tv semacam sebab sementara nak tunggu berbuka kan :). program ni macam cerita tentang penghijrahan artis-artis dekat Malaysia to be someone better. semalam turn wardina. and it turned out to be something yang sangat-sangat bagus. banyak benda yang kita boleh ambik tentang isu hijrah ni.

ok these are some of the things yang aku dapat semalam:

kalau kita nak berubah jadi baik, ALLAH akan beri kita kawan-kawan yang baik juga. and based on my experience, betul. yelah kan, kadang-kadang kita tak tahu ALLAH nak beri petunjuk dekat kita mcam mana. mungkin ini salah satu caranya. kalau kita memang betul niat nak berubah ke arah kebaikan, insya-ALLAH, kita akan didampingi dengan orang yang baik-baik. and yet, kita sebenarnya kena cari kawan yang baik, not as if dia ada sepanjang masa apart of that, dia boleh bimbing kita to the right path.
and aku rasa aku pernah cakap about being judgemental kan, HERE! and sis wardina pun cakap benda yang sama, kalau orang tu nak berubah eventhough sedikit, accept him/her. give support.

setakat ni, yang tulah yang aku mmapu extract from the show and i cannot remember some other things, but these two points stuck in my mind. and i want to share with you.

dan semoga ramadhan ini boleh menjadi satu titik permulaan untuk kita berubah menjadi a good muslim-in and out. insya-ALLAH. :)

chocolate chip cookies

2011-08-10T18:59:00.001+08:00

tempahan masih dibuka.

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:')

2011-08-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

tadi baru je habis tengok MHI. segmen yang last tu dia ada cerita pasal kisah seorang blogger ni, means adik ipar dia. and actually aku tahu la jugak pasal ceritanya. long story short, i admired her husband

and dalam montage tu bila husband dia cakap, 'susah senang biar bersama'. selalu sangat kan orang cakap pasal benda ni, tapi yang buat betul-betul berapa ramai.his wife kena brain cancer stage 4 and they just got their first baby when they knew about the news. and he never put down his hope.

menitik air mata tengok. aku nak suami macam tu. yang hidup senang susah sama-sama, sakit pening, teruk ke tak, jaga sama-sama and never leave me alone. :')

to know the story more: CLICK

p/s: bulan puasa ni hati tu kadang-kadang kena bagi lembut, baca tentang kehidupan orang lain juga :)

a year ago and today,

2011-08-08T00:53:00.001+08:00

location: D-3-8
time: 12 midnight
date: 08082010

1 message received

********
From Mak

Mak tahu Qin sedang sedih.
*some secret sentences*
tapi ingatlah pada keluarga yang sentiasa kasih dan sayang
sampai bila-bila.
*some secret sentences*

********

those bold words are my strength that hold me up until now.
i'll never forget that night.
thank you mak for being the most understanding person throughout my life and thank you for being my strength pillar forever.
i cried not for things that happened but for the words.

and not to forget, my dear friends who are always there for me when i need them,
ELLISALNADYASYAMIMIILIAMALJAJAWANIAINWANAMILAATEEQZARA
and others, endless thank you and love.

it had been a year again and counting for the next upcoming years in remembering the strength that i have, to wake up again.

alhamdulillah for the countless bless and strength :)

tahun lepas dan ini

2011-08-07T15:52:00.000+08:00

kalau diikutkan tahun lepas, minggu ini, means first week of august, emosi aku kritikal dan sedih, dan aku jadi lone ranger

tapi tidak lagi tahun ini, aku gembira dengan nikmat yang diberi dan keluarga yang menyayangi. :)

semoga,

2011-08-01T11:56:00.001+08:00

ramadhan ini lebih barakah,
doaku dimakbulkan
hati ini lebih sabar
jiwa ini lebih tenang
dosaku semuanya terampun
mulutku lebih terjaga
perlakuanku dipelihara
fikiranku disucikan
dibuangkan rasa dengki,
ditambahkan kasih sayang
dimurahkan rezeki
dan disirami mawaddah

moga-moga segala yang kuminta berkekalan ya Rabb!

#3: of changing : a guide to proper hijab for ladies

2011-07-29T23:58:00.002+08:00

SOURCE: http://www.owhsomuslim.com/osm/a-guide-to-proper-hijab-for-ladies/

i found this article at the facebook shared by sister amirah farhana and it was soooo cute yet super duper good (to me). here's the article and my opinion about the topic. :)

1. The most basic form of hijab is to cover the whole body, except the hands up to the wrist. Take note that hijab is not only about covering your head with a headscarf, but it’s about covering your body too! A hijab isn’t complete until both requirements (head and body) are covered.

2. A proper hijab requires one to wear loose clothes in order to avoid “showing” those beautiful curves! The Prophet (pbuh) has warned us that women who are dressed yet naked (ie: tight-fitting clothes) will receive harsh punishment in Hell (nauzubillah).

3. Think that headscarf or long skirt of yours is solid enough? Look again, it might be transparent and people are able to see the shape of your hair bun or legs! Whatever material or fabric you put on yourself; make sure they are not transparent!

4. Ladies, keep your attire or outfit simple and modest! There’s no need to be flashy in order to attract the attention of others! Most importantly, it should be free of anything that may lead to arrogance, self-conceited, pride and riya’. As ladies, we are to display Allah’s blessings upon us in our clothing, but do it without going to the extreme of wastage or extravagance.

5. “Are you a girl… or a boy?” Is the type of question other people shouldn’t be asking when it comes to an individual, and we should avoid it at all costs! Dressing up/ looking as the opposite gender is dangerous to self, as it challenges the pride and it brings confusion to others. So ladies, be proud of your girly self! :)

6. Why bother dressing up the others (ie: the unbelievers) when you, as a Muslimah, have your own identity to be proud of? By imitating them outwardly, it might lead to imitating them inwardly (beliefs, characteristics). Muslim ladies too, have their own style and fashion to be proud of! :)

MY PERSPECTIVE: kan? is it necessary to follow others/trend? perlu ke kena pakai semua latest fashion season. jangan cakap sebab kita ni perempuan kita kena ikut semua tu. no, it's totally wrong. it's true, we have to be beautiful because ALLAH loves beautiful things too. tapi, cuba check balik, do we dress to impress others or do we dress to get the bless? apakah kita puas bila orang cakap kita cantik tetapi di mata Dia kita hodoh? apakah kita rasa gembira apabila orang memuji kita pandai berfesyen sedangkan gaya kita dihadapan Dia sangat memalukan? cukupkah untuk berasa cantik dan bergaya sekiranya kita sendiri pun tidak sempurna. it's not that i'm saying we cannot look pretty and beautiful. of course we can. but it will be more beautiful if we follow the guidelines and be MODEST. like ellisal said, it's true, teen's life is once in your life time, but then it is NOT an excuse for you to live without borders. :)

this is a reminder for myself too because i am a human like all of you who needs to be reminded all the times:D

chocolate chip cookies for raya :)

2011-07-24T21:24:00.000+08:00

*THIS IS A STICKY POST. FOR NEW UPDATES, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN :)

are you drooling for some crunchy-munchy chocolate chip cookies?

like this one:

here is the answer:

i bake for you a homemade chocolate chip cookies for this upcoming raya with fresh ingredients and EXTRA chocolate chip and nuts for a very low price!

see, murah kan. if you want to get one for yourself, drop by the comment :)

my kind of guy - KINDA

2011-07-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

ok since nadya dah offer suruh buat tag, makanya, saya dengan berbesar hati buat lah :D

this is just for fun peeps. jangan salah anggap pulak. :)

if you're a guy - post this as "my kind of girl"

if you're a girl - post it as "my kind of guy"

to whichever gender you prefer, really.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?

Aha. Very subjektif. Tengah-tengah boleh?

2. Smart?

Smart in math or anything that involves numbers.

3. Preferred age?

Sebaya pun boleh. Or tua 1 to 2 years. :D

4. Preferred height?

Kalau boleh, mestilah nak tinggi, saya ni genetik bapak kuat which is genetik pendek :(

5. How about sense of humor?

Kena ada kot SIKIT since i am serious person. Kena balance weh.

6. How about piercings?

A BIG NO-NO

7. Accepts you for who you are?

Yes. But if there's anything not good, just voice it out. I can change for good.

*Nadya, i copy yours

8. Pink hair?

Natural colour please

9. Mushy or no?

Lain macam sangat gayanya kalau laki yang buat. -.-

10. Thin or fat?

Again, kurus kalau boleh which is mainly memang kau kurus dari zaman dahulu kala. Kalau gemuk lepas kahwin lain cerita.

11. Black, Brown, Yellow or White (skin color)?

Kuning langsat?

12. Long hair or short hair?

Short is hot. Boleh?

13. Plastic or metal?

Ni accessories or what? Other than watch and belt, both are not acceptable. ^^v

14. Smells good?

Yes, but please don't put DUNHILL perfume. It kills me.

15. Smoker?

Why you want to kill yourself before the times come?

16. Drinker?

Lagila REJECT!

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?

Oh. That type of boy used to be my 'pojaan hatiku'

18. Muscular?

Leper pon boleh. Huahuahua

19. Plays piano?

Awww. Then we'll spend time together teaching me how to play it.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?

Acoustic guitar looks more soothing kott.

21. Plays violin?
OK. Ni boleh jadi menantu kesayangan mak.

22. Sings very well?

So-so

23. Vain?

24. With glasses?
Nampak nerdy and cute. Ok je btw.

25. With braces?

Aww. Nampak sangat gigi sama dengan ai. Suka!

26. Shy type?

Ouh. Mesti kot sebab i'm outloud.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?

In between. Boleh?

28. Active or passive?

Active.

29. Tight or bomb?

Kebabom. -..-

30. Singer or dancer?

Aerobic dancer. Is it count?

31. Stunner?

Angkat ai boleh?

32. Hiphop?
Ewww. TAK!

33. Earrings?

Lagila tak.

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?

I don't care. Sorry.

35. Dimples?
Teruus cair kauuuu.

36. Bookworm ?

Yeay. Got a partner.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?

Macam my dad la. Sweet. Kahkah.

38. Playful?

Bila kena masa.

39. Flirt?

As always, kena tahu masa dan tempat dan keadaan.

40. Poem writer?

Err. Kalau jumpa time dekat U, boleh upah tolong buat assignment literature.

41. Serious?

Relax kot. Ai dah la serious lepastu clumsy. Nanti dua-dua tense.

42. Campus crush?

Not yet know. ;)

43. Painter?

44. Religious?

WAJIBUL GHUNNAH. But then ai pun kena sediakan diri jugak kan. :)

45. Someone who likes to tease people?

Again, adapting and adjusting.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?

Hohohooho. Taknak.

47. Speaks 20 languages?

By saying ILY. Ok la.

48. Loyal or faithful?

Both

49. Good kisser?

Not relevant.

50. Loves children?

YES YES YES!

rainbow cake and lasagna

2011-07-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

rainbow cake and lasagna

semenjak dah berhenti kerja dekat kumon,bertambah-tambah masa yang ada untuk diluangkan dengan menggemukkan diri di rumah. oh, i worked at two centre. so, now, i only worked at BBS centre which is more nearer and more relax.

jadinya, dengan masa yang ada, aku pun bake lah kek pelangi ni which is first time buat dulu it turned out to be kek pelangi bantat. memang bantat habislah. takde sape nak makan. tapi kali ni, at least walaupun tak segebu as the real sponge cake since mak tak turunkan resepi dan teknik rahsia dia lagi, at least, jadi la jugak. mak cakap macam kek mat salleh. tak tahu la tang mana mat sallehnya. mungkin sebab pakai susukah? kek pelangi yang ni bukan kek pelangi yang zaman dulu-dulu punya tau, yang tu butter cake punya style. that one is more greasy sikit bila masuk mulut. yang ni resepi dia lain sikit. and kalau tengok kek tu macam naik tengah kan, sebab bentuk dia tak rata. almaklumlah, main campak seuka hati and wrong techniques kan. takpe, once, bila dah dapat proper technique and recipe, then i show you. satu lagi, it involve with white egg, so kena ada cara yang betul nak pukul dia. still cannot master this one. ^^v

and lasagna, buat satu bekas pyrex tadi. sebab dah lama tak makan kan. also tadi buat dia punya white sauce sebab sebelum-sebelum ni tak pernah letak. nasib baik jadi. tapi mak bising kata, makanan banyak sangat. ehhee. sorry la mak, i love cooking and giving people eat. dia kata boleh miskin kalau amcam ni. takpe2. bukan selalu kan.

have a nice day!

maybe,

2011-07-17T14:57:00.001+08:00

it's already healed. :)

central market=pasar seni

2011-07-16T22:56:00.001+08:00

ellisal and me went to pasar seni today. it wasn't planned pun actually. since she came to my house and i was so addicted to go out, so here we are, PASAR SENI. sebab last week pergi dengan mak rasa tak puas since it was a sudden plan nak pergi beli barang lukisan, so decided to go again.

let's make a story with the pitchas ;)

the view from the upper level of pasar seni. dekat level yang atas ni banyak jual baju mostly macam batik la. and the best part is you can bargain until you cannot resist the price and grab it :D

the fish spa. saja-saja try. RM 5 for 10 minutes. end up memang rasa nak buat lama lagi. best. mula-mula memang rasa geli as if they tickle your feet. lama-lama best. kan ada orang cakap kalau kaki kotor nanti banyak ikan pergi, and at first memamng pun. tapi nanti dia dah tak banyak dah. heeee :D

muka je innocent. nak cecah kaki, mak aiiiiii gelak keluar air mata. at the end, ikan pun takut nak pergi sebab asyik kena tendang je. boleh tak dia tanya ikan tu ada gigi ke tak. ehehhehe. comel je

a satisfaction i can say.

haaaa, this Caucasian lady lagi la lawak, belum cecah kaki lagi dah gelak sampai merah-merah muka.

at kasturi walk :)

ok, memang aku tak pandai makan ais krim or orang tu yang tak reti letak aiskrim. that guy tak reti letak aiskrim pakai scoop, ada ke dia pakai macam senduk kuali tu. end up i became kawan syaitan buang the whole of it.

ini namanya muka lapar :P

murah je gelang dia. my second time buying the accessories here RM 19 for 5@6 gelang.

acah-acah je tu

hai saya raden ellisal supardi

yang ni layak jadi bibik je walaupun memang ada darah jawa.

trademark :D

puas

oh, i parked my car at the KTMB station sebab jammed sangat tak boleh nak bergerak since ada kren terbalik dekat platform stesen tu. so we have to walk to go to pasar seni. otw balik, we stopped by to see the nice and beautiful graffiti dekat sungai gombak tu. salute to the artists.

cantik kan. but it would be nicer if the river is clean.

we finally headed to nasi kandar kudu, the best nasi kandar in town. so packed and jammed. and i am proudly to say i have master the skill of menyelit kereta sana-sini in KL. ehehehe

hasil barang galian duit gaji, the nice white long shirt, the bracelet and the necklace. tak sampai RM 70 punnn.very vintage one. kononnnnnn. :P

#2 of changing

2011-07-11T15:31:00.000+08:00

“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Qur’an, 2:153)

ya ALLAH, tenangkanlah hati ini.

berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk menjadi seorang yang lebih sabar.

maybe it's called random feelings

2011-07-10T22:29:00.001+08:00

tak tahu kenapa, semalam and hari ini rasa hormon adrenalin tu macam meluncur keluar masuk ke seluruh pembuluh darah. rasa teruja and energetic. teruja for many reasons. aha. still in that mood. so cannot write any further experience that i'd been through today. sebab rasa banyak sangat nak cerita and terujaa! such an eager adventures and days recently :D

perasaan dia macam bila a girl tengok benda-benda yang comel for example, buku comel ni, rasa semua nak beli. haaa, gitulah. maybe only girls know how the feeling is. :)

eager :)

2011-07-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

terburu

2011-07-06T19:55:00.000+08:00

“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”

Helen Rowland via weed something out

i am startled. now i have found the cause. it was reversible for me. i don't know about him. i am not the most understanding person. i failed in that case. a sigh for my own silliness. it is okay. new thing to learn. still have the space for improvement. it's my own fault anyway. too rush. :)

wordless wednesday: new semester awaiting :)

2011-07-06T12:08:00.000+08:00

ALHAMDULILLAH,

Bachelor of Human Sciences (Hons) English Language and Literature

of changing

2011-07-03T14:36:00.001+08:00

orang selalu cakap nak berubah. biasanya mestilah berubah ke arah kebaikan kan, mana ada orang nak berubah jadi jahat. nak berubah ambil masa jugak. bukannya kau kata nak berubah ahri ini, sekelip mata esok terus kau expect dia bertukar. perubahan perlukan perjalanan melalui beberapa fasa. dan fasa yang akan kita lalui itu bukan semuanya sediakan kita penyelesaian kepada semua persoalan perubahan yang ingin kita lakukan. kadang-kadang, kita perlu merempuh jalan, semak, duri, berbatu dan macam-macam dugaan yang perlu kita tempuhi. itulah realiti sebenar kehidupan. nak berubah perlukan hati yang kuat, fikiran yang jitu dan niat yang padu. ingat senang ke nak istiqamah. jiwa kena kental.

bayangkan kita dulu ni orang selalu fikir negatif pasal kita, tiba-tiba kita berubah jadi baik. mesti macam-macam orang kata kan, uish, kalau iman tak kuat, memang kita rasa, ah baik jadi macam dulu je. nak meninggalkan daki-daki tabiat yang dah ada dekat dalam hati dan jiwa ni susah. perlukan banyak pertolongan sebenarnya. sebab tu kita jangan mudah untuk jadi seorang yang judgemental dekat orang lain, sebab we never know what he/she is going through in their life. kalau mereka nak berubah, bagus lah kan. kita pula yang kena muhasabah diri, kalau dia boleh berubah kenapa kita tak boleh buat?

dan sadly to say, orang kata kita tak boleh berubah sebab kita tak dapat hidayah lagi. hidayah itu kena cari, kena usaha. mana boleh senang-senang nak dapat. analogi dia, cuba kau pergi tepi jalan, lepas tu mintak orang bagi kau duit RM 1. rasanya orang tu bagi tak? kalau aku, aku blah je. so mcam tu lah jugak dengan hidayah, kita kena cari, kena mintak dan usaha sungguh-sungguh supaya diperkenankan permintaan kita untuk dapat hidayah tu. tapi, kena sepadan juga dengan amalan kita. so, siapa kata dia tak boleh berubah sebab tak dapat hidayah, tak boleh la cakap macam tu. sebab hidayah/petunjuk datang dalam cara yang kadangkala kita tak sedar pun, tiba-tiba kita rasa tergerak hati nak buat.

dan janganlah expect seseorang tu berubah 360, it takes time bro. slowly. why don't we support them at least at the same time we can learn from them and share what we have for our own goodness. betul tak. so bila kawan korang cakap dia nak berubah ke apa, open your arms widely, hold their hands and together we change to the right path.

and still, i am in the process of changing myself to be better. still facing the tough phase :D

lets stay strong and be with iman. :)

soalan sarkastik & jawapan narsistik

2011-07-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

soalan dan jawapan adalah berdasarkan pemerhatian sendiri. walaupun yang menulis tu aku, aku pun dulu, kadang-kadang ada buat jugak. #sentaphatimaknak.

S: kenapa sekarang orang consider kalau tak ikut trend, orang tu outdated?

J: kalau tak, nanti nampak kuno pulak kan. betul tak?

S: perempuan sekarang memang suka pakai legging ke walaupun bertudung?

J: sebab trend la. kalau pakai longgar-longgar ni, nanti tak nampak pulak kaki cantik. eww, apa longgar-longgar ni, alim lah.

S: DSLR ni macam dah jadi satu kewajipan pulak ye sampai nak jadi A-MUST-THING-TO-HAVE pulak kan?

J: eh, nanti orang semua ada kita takde pulak. malu-malu. wajib ada.

S: kalau tak couple boleh mati ke?

J: woih. boleh weh. you die, i die giteww. semua orang ada pasangan, mana boleh ai takde.

S: apasal kau kena ikut trend semasa? orang nak hana tajima, kau pun sama. orang nak pakai ketat kau pun nak jugak. pakai biasa-biasa sudah.

J: mana boleh, nanti takde siapa nak pandang aku. nampak macam minah kampung je kalau pakai baju kurung.

p/s: kalau korang ada soalan yang sarkastik, korang boleh tanya, nanti aku jawab dalam bahasa yang narsistik.

p/s/s: sarkastik dan narsistik tu apa? check kamus :D

let it go

2011-07-02T15:07:00.001+08:00

today i'll be writing about how to let go. let go of everything that you feel miserable, painful and hate the most. some people might say, "just let it go!". but then it is not as easy as you sleep even sometimes sleep can be the most hardest thing to do when you really want to do it. specifically, i'll be talking about to let go in love, the emotions.

WARNING: I AM NOT DR. LOVE. I AM NOT EVEN QUALIFIED TO BE ONE. IT'S JUST BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE. ;)

yes, i'd once got through the most painful moment in love's life. it is so painful that i could turn to be haters, you name it to me, all the bad things that i rarely did, i'd done it. my strength at that time turned into dust. i was so fragile eventhough i never show my emotion at that time. but deep inside my heart, only ALLAH knows how it so painful to lost the thing that i love the most apart from my family. now i know it is so hard to let it go something that once was a history of your life.

BUT

life has to move on. it is good to feel sad. but then don't carry away with the feeling. it kills you slowly. try to forget the memories, as my mom said, "orang dah tak nak dekat kita, buat apa kita nak sibuk-sibuk lagi ingat". susah memang susah. sangat la susah. i couldn't deny it though. but everything that happen must have a reason right. so, be positive ladies. don't look over the past walaupun the memories were like as sweet as honey or as beautiful as paradise pun, that's just a devil's play. return back to ALLAH. of course sometimes kita akan rasa rindu la apa la kan, but then, keep away all those stupid feelings, fill it with al-Quran verses. insya-ALLAH, that is the most effective medicine on how to forget all those things. it had worked for me excellently, so i know it will give the same effects to you too. we can even pray to ALLAH and ask Him to forget our memories about 'that' thing if you don't have the strength to do it. and my lecturer had taught me this du'a if you have any problem,

إِنـَّا ِللَّـهِ وَإِنـَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ، اللَّـهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

Maksudnya : Sesungguhnya kami milik Allah dan kepadaNya kami akan kembali (pada hari kiamat). Ya Allah! Berilah pahala kepadaku dan gantilah aku dengan lebih baik(dari musibahku)

so, move on. let bygone be bygone. there's a reason why. you never know what will happen in the future.

وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ

Warfare is ordained for you, though it is hateful unto you; but it may happen that ye hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that ye love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knoweth, ye know not. [2:216]

another thing, you may say that you've moved on, but then you don't act like one. ladies, don;t say to your friends or make a public statement that you're okay you're single. THAT'S SO NOT OKAY. you still keep in your memories while your bf has his own life enjoying his day with new gf maybe. or he had completely moved on his life without remembering us pun kan. so, you too my dear sisters, live your life, explore the world, get back to your friends if you ever missed them out along your relationship with your ex-bf. you never know right? don't show as if we're too desperate for our painful memories. let it die with time. just leave it behind ok. insya-ALLAH, you can do it! :)

tahniah cikgu najmen!

2011-06-26T13:46:00.001+08:00

akhirnya cikgu najmen kahwin jugak after sibuk bertanya bilanya cikgu nak kahwin. semalam pergi kenduri kahwin cikgu dekat bukit katil melaka with jaja comel, amal, mad nor and fat-al. gerak dari UIA nilai. amal drove her cute car. the ride was so fun. sesat sana sini la. ada gps pun sesat lagi. *sembah diampun ye amal :). at last sampai jugak dekat rumah cikgu. sejuk je rumah cikgu. masa kitorang sampai tu, pengantin baru sampai. and jumpa la cikgu-cikgu maktab dan juniors.

btw, baju batik maktab dah tukar. nampak cantik and eksklusif. asal kitorang takde.

mari, kita bercerita dengan gambar :D

cikgu sangat cantik. muka cikgu nampak berseri sangat. nampak gembira. semoga bahagia.

it supposed to be a clear picture, tapi tangkap dari sisi je sebab segan nak pergi depan, kalau pergi depan kena tepung tawar. memang la tidak aku pergi. :D

walaupun tengah kahwin, cikgu still cool je macam dia dekat sekolah. sempoi habis.

oh, tema warna cikgu, maroon-gold. very menyerlah giteww.

the dara's'. jaja as the photographer.

kek ni nampak macam sedap and keliling dia tu ada red velvet cup cake.

balik tu siap ada tapau nasi dengan lauk lagi, ada dodol, kata kat melaka kan, wajiblah ada dodol. yang terbaik tu, berkat tu la - berkat kalau jawa macam buah tangan untuk orang jauh. nasi minyak dengan lauk kuzi daging dia. the best!

pakcik RELA yang sporting

amal the diva driver.

before we go back to KL

SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU CIKGU & SUAMI!

SEMOGA BAHAGIA HINGGA AKHIR HAYAT :)

nota berangan:

TARGET: 4 years more.

THEME: bluish pink.

time table

2011-06-25T22:53:00.001+08:00

so, basically, i've started to plan my schedule for my degree studies. yeah, no more schedule-feeding like i used to have at nilai. when you have the chance to arrange your schedule, it is actually giving you more freedom to suit your comfortability and needs. aha. but then, i am quite annoyed since the subjects that i want to take are clashing with arab. arghh. such a busy body la you arab. huehue. it takes almost everyday for me to go to class for only this subject. but then no class on friday. yeay me. :) btw UIA's academic system is different, as far as i know. if you want to finish fast, you have to complete certain contact hours to finish up you level. level in UIA = year. and dia tak ikut, if you finish first year means the next new sem, you're in second year. so, if you're a very advanced genius, hardworking students - yes it comes in a complete package and i hope i can be one of them. achieving the glory and victory back - you can complete your degree in just 2 1/2 years. and i am running for that. :D insya-ALLAH.